


A Lock of Your Hair, For Science

by moemachina



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Phlebotomy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 19:13:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5467871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moemachina/pseuds/moemachina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ravi is the Big Spoon. Obviously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lock of Your Hair, For Science

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smartlike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartlike/gifts).



> This takes place a few days after Episode 1x13 ("Blaine's World").

"So," Major said. "Is this weird for you?"

"What part?" Ravi asked jovially as he removed the needle from Major's arm. "Taking a blood sample in our living room, or...?"

"Or the whole situation in general." Major was half-sprawled across the living-room couch. He had covered himself in a faded fleece banket, and beneath it, he was still wearing yesterday's T-shirt. "You know. Zombies. Me. Zombie Me."

"Technically, you're not a zombie any more," Ravi said. "And, well...this is many things, but it's not _weird_ for me. Or, at least, not the part that I think you mean." Ravi was perched on the edge of the coffee table as he sorted through his equipment, and the low-slung table made him seem even lankier and longer than usual. "Here, hold this gauze in place while I get your Disney Princess Band-Aid ready." 

"The anticipation is killing me," Major said. "But whom will it be? Will it be Cinderella? Will it be Ariel?" 

"Obviously it will be Belle, because I'm not a monster." 

"No," Major said. "Because I'm the monster." 

"Stop that," Ravi said, a trifle harshly. "You're not a monster." He dropped the needle into the plastic sharps container by his feet. "And, anyway, it's not like I would care about living with an ex-zombie. After all, every day I go to work with a current zombie." 

Major leaned against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. For a moment, he looked as though he might have fallen sleep, but then he spoke, very softly. "Yeah, that's true. You knew for a while, huh."

"For a while, yeah," Ravi said gently. His voice came from farther away; he had gotten up to put away the sharps container and to secure Major's blood sample in his bag. 

"And you never said anything to me." This time, Major could not suppress the clear note of bitterness and anger in his voice, and he winced slightly, despite himself. 

The coffee table creaked slightly as Ravi re-seated himself, and the bottom of his Converse sneakers beat a light tattoo against the floor. "No," he said at last. "Because it was Liv's decision. And her life. I wasn't going to betray her." 

Major opened his eyes. "It would have made a difference," he said flatly. 

"Really?" Ravi raised his eyebrows in mock-curiosity. "Knowing about Liv would have changed your plans to raid Zombie HQ with a hand grenade?" 

They stared at one another. Major's gaze dropped first. "It might have," he said. 

Ravi took a deep breath. "Okay. Let's have it all out. How angry are you with me? On a scale of one to ten? With one being 'No, We Are Blood Brothers, Ravi, Do Not Be Silly," and ten being a recreation of _Kill Bill_ with you in the Uma Thurman role?" 

Major pursed his lips. "I've always thought I would look pretty fly in a yellow jumpsuit, and I _have_ been practicing my Five-Point-Palm Exploding-Heart Technique..." 

"Do I need to move out?"

Major stiffened in surprise. "No. No, you don't need to move out." He smiled painfully. "You've been an exemplary roommate, Ravi. Rent always paid on time. No dirty dishes left in the sink."

"I did spend a couple of months helping your ex-fiancee conceal her undead status," Ravi pointed out. "And I strongly suspect that this is a detail that you might hold against me." He glanced down at his feet. "Not that you would be necessarily wrong to do so." 

For a moment, Major did not answer. He had been sprawled on the couch, but now he fully committed to the supine position by swinging his legs up and lying down along the length of the sofa. "No," he said at last as he stared at the ceiling. "I understand why you did what you did. And I'm not angry at you. You were being a good friend to Liv, Ravi. You were protecting her." He laughed dryly. "It's not like I can fault you for that." He glanced back at Ravi. "Unless you want to move out?" 

"What? And miss weekly college football? Perish the thought." Ravi smiled down at him. "Besides, I have ulterior motives for sticking around. After all, you have undergone a highly experimental treatment, and I do need to keep you under observation."

"And here I thought you just wanted that blood as a sentimental keepsake." 

"Oh, there's more than enough for both my microscope _and_ the vial I always wear around my neck," Ravi said. "Next thing you know, I'll be demanding a lock of your hair. For 'science.'" 

"Hey, that's the reason I give all the mad scientists my bodily fluids, chief." Major yawned. "I suppose you'll want to know about the things I've experienced since Liv zombie-fied me and then de-zombie-fied me."

"Your personal experiences could be useful," Ravi said. "Any strange sensations? Or cravings?"

"Are you asking if I still hunger for human flesh?" 

"Well...maybe a little." Ravi leaned forward. "There's no shame if you are, by the way. I would be very non-judgy. But, as I'm sure you know, if you are thirsting for brain matter, that's, uh, something that I really need to know." 

"Of course," Major said. "But I'm not. Hungry for brains, that is. In fact, I'm a little queasy about the idea of meat in general right now. This whole experience may have turned me into a vegetarian." 

"An interesting side effect, if it lasts," Ravi said. 

"And, well, there are these dreams I've been having..." Major said vaguely.

"What kind of dreams?" Ravi asked. The amusement had vanished from his voice; he sounded serious and stern and more than a little alarmed. 

"A cornfield...a baseball diamond...James Earl Jones..." By the end, Major had started to weakly giggle against the couch cushion. 

"Ha ha," Ravi said. "Hilarious." 

Major's spasms subsided and he breathed heavily into the couch fabric. "I mean, but there really are a few things. Seriously. I'm having a hard time sleeping. I mean, I couldn't sleep at all last night, and naps proved really impossible today. And isn't that the most frustrating thing? When you can't nap? Even when you are _so_ tired? Because I am so tired, Ravi." 

Ravi's jiggling feet went still and his voice, when it came, was very gentle. "It makes sense. You've just had a traumatic experience, and you're still recovering. Trouble with sleeping seems within the normal range of reactions." He shrugged. "Sorry, though. It's no fun for you right now. With time, it will pass. In the short term, I can probably acquire some sedatives on your behalf..."

"My last doctor prescribed me a hot cup of milk," Major said. 

"Was this, by any chance, your pediatrician?" Outside, the sun was setting, and Ravi, on the coffee table, was illuminated with a blaze of reds and oranges. "I'm happy to supply a hot glass of milk but, in my professional opinion, it should be accompanied by some Ambien." 

Major shrugged. "Maybe. But I've heard the stories. I don't know if I want to wake up suddenly and find that I've sleep-walked or sleep-made-a-sandwich or sleep-ordered-a-blender-from-Amazon, you know." 

"Although, to be fair, those sound like totally adorable sleep-walking activities," Ravi said. "Well-worth the price of admission for me, anyway." 

Major was silent for a long moment. "Hey, Ravi. Can I make a weird request? Like a really weird request?" 

"Major, I think you forget whom you are talking to. Unless you want me to start dressing up like a clown, I doubt I'll find your request that weird." Ravi paused and then continued, more thoughtfully, "And, I mean, it depends: what kind of clown? Are we talking happy or scary or--" 

"Could you hold my hand?" Major asked. His eyes were tightly closed; his crossed arms were bearing down against his chest. "Or, like...put your hand on my elbow? Or just...touch me? Somehow? Until I fall asleep?" 

A pause. "Okay," he heard Ravi say.

"It's strange, I know," Major said, speaking very fast now. "It's weird, but that's the thing that keeps waking me up when I'm asleep. I start thinking that I'm cold, and alone, and there's no one coming, and I think I just need some tactile contact, some human warmth, and then my stupid brain will remember that I'm alive and know that everything is okay and--" 

"Okay," Ravi said again, and there was the unmistakable sound of two Converse sneakers being kicked off. "But you're going to have to slide over, or I'm not going to fit." 

Major's eyes opened in surprise. "Wait, I just needed, like, your hand--" he managed to say before the full weight of Ravi Chakrabarti was pressed up against his side. 

"Yeah, well," Ravi's voice said cheerfully, directly into his ear. "If your subconscious needs human contact, there's no need to stint. We might as well give it the maximum amount of human contact. Full immersion. Here, shift up a bit." And with that, Ravi insinuated one arm under Major's back, and the next thing Major knew, he was engulfed in a full-body hug. 

"Well," Major said. "This is...something." He felt a little as if he had just been swaddled like an infant. 

"Shhh," Ravi whispered. "Don't cheapen it." 

Despite himself, Major snorted. "Hey, chief, at least buy me a drink first." 

Ravi shifted, and Major could feel the edge of Rav's beard brush across his right ear. "As your doctor," Ravi said, "given your current state, I would not recommend any alcohol for the time being." 

"Wait, wait, wait," Major said. "You're cool with prescribing me sleeping pills, but I'm not allowed to have alcohol? Tsk tsk, doctor. This seems inconsistent." He felt a little as if he was caught in the middle of a gentle vise: on one side, the couch cushions; on the other side, Ravi's warm body wedged up against him so tightly that Major could feel Ravi's belt buckle pressing into his hip.

"So, Major. Feeling sleepy yet?"

"No," Major said. "Maybe if you were holding me, _and_ I was drinking some hot milk..." 

"Good thought," Ravi said. "We'll figure it out through every scientist's favorite ritual: trial and error." 

"Oh boy," Major said. "Because I love being a science experiment." 

"I know," Ravi said. "I could tell you've been pining for that. Every time I would come home in my white lab coat, and you'd get that wistful expression on your face..." 

"Yeah," Major said. "Every time, I'd think, _When will this man employ his scientific method on me_?"

"Finally, you're in luck," Ravi said. When he exhaled, Major could feel his warm breath against his neck and shoulder. "You know, this is nice. We should do this more often." 

"Maybe we should get really into Greek wrestling," Major said. 

"Ugh, too much work," Ravi said. "Maybe we should just spoon whenever we're playing _Left 4 Dead_ , though. Maybe it would really enhance our co-op coordination." 

"I've always said that there needed to be more hugging in video games," Major said. "And maybe it'll balance out all the poking you'll be doing. With needles and stuff. " 

"Ah," Ravi said gently. "Well. We've established that living with zombies and ex-zombies isn't going to be weird for me -- but what about you? Is it going to be weird for you to live with your very own mad scientist? Getting your blood drawn, peeing into a cup, describing your symptoms to me...that's going to change our domestic routine pretty thoroughly." 

"Wait, are you saying that you haven't previously wanted my urine samples? Because I've got all these jars in my room--" 

"Yeah, yeah," Ravi said. "Are you really prepared to become a human pincushion for me?" 

"Well, I'm not exactly in love with the idea," Major said. "But...you know. It'll be okay. It'll be our new normal. I'll adapt. Trial and error, right?" 

"What a can-do attitude," Ravi said. "Such a Boy Scout, Major. It's what I love about you." 

He had spoken the last words jokingly, but they hung awkwardly in the air, and then both men were silent and still. 

Ravi shifted and Major suddenly became aware that what he had assumed was the rounded edge of a belt buckle pressing into his hip was, in fact, something else entirely. 

And Major suddenly thought, with an intensity that startled him: _Yes_. 

He rolled around until he was facing Ravi. 

"Hey there," Ravi said, somewhat leadenly.

"I just realized," Major said, "that I'm not feeling very sleepy." And he kissed Ravi on the mouth.

After he broke the kiss, he could hear Ravi breathing heavily. "Okay," Ravi said at last. "That was...but I guess I have to point out that this might make things weird..."

"Listen," Major said. "The ship has sailed on this 'weird' thing. You've been lying to me for months, and now you're monitoring me for signs that I might turn into zombie. It's already pretty fucking weird, Ravi." 

"Good point," Ravi said. "The best point." He kissed Major back. 

They fumbled at one another. "Do you think this is a side effect of zombiehood?" Major asked at one point, when his mouth was free.

"I highly doubt it," Ravi said breathlessly. "But as a consequence of a near-death experience, it's pretty normal, I think." 

"Maybe it's just the result of our long-boiling sexual tension," Major said. "And what the fuck? How many layers are you wearing?" 

"It gets cold at work," Ravi mumbled against his temple. "I get chilly." 

"Give me a hand, bro, and take off this goddamn sweater. Yes, that means the arms go up, up, over your head." 

With some difficulty, they mutually wrestled Ravi out of his sweater, which Major then violently threw as far away he could. 

"Damn it," he said as he rolled on top of Ravi. "A button-up, now? You're killing me, man."

"How exactly does this work?" Ravi asked. "I've never--" and then he issued a breathy, keening noise, because Major had just managed to unzip his jeans and reach inside. 

"I think we'll figure it out," Major said. "Through trial and error."


End file.
